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My hematologist found an abnormality in my chromosomes so I am having a bone marrow biopsy done today at 1:00. He is checking to see if I have a blood disorder. I’m nervous about the procedure and the results.

Crosspost @ Teresamerica

 

 

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I just returned from a visit with my parents and other family members.  I had a great time.  I got to see my sister and brother-in-law who I haven’t seen in about 2 years.  My brother and his family also came up to visit for a day.   But most of all I am so happy that I was able to see my parents, especially my mom before she has surgery in mid-August.  We also celebrated my mom’s birthday. I am so blessed to have superbly fun and cute nieces, awesomely caring sisters and brothers, and wonderfully loving parents.  I am asking for prayers for my mom.  She has had a tremor where her neck and head shakes pretty badly that has progressively gotten worse over the last 10-15 years.  My mom is supposed to have an operation by a neurosurgeon to stop her tremors.  I have been and will continue to pray that the surgery stops her tremors.  Her surgery is August 20.  If that one works, then she will have another surgery a couple days later where what I think is a defibrillater will be placed by her heart.  I am praying that God heals my mom and she gets relief from her tremors and headaches.  God Bless.

 

 

Exodus

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Today there were 50 to 60 people injured when a car drove into hikers in a parade in Virginia.  Yesterday evening there were two trains in Conn. that collided with one another during evening rush hour.   There were dozens injured in the train collision.  The victims and their families are in my prayers.  May God’s healing touch come upon them.  Here is a prayer for those injured in the two accidents and all those who need healing. God Bless.

O Lord our God and Savior, You rule over all things; You are our physician and comfort in sickness; You deliver us from pain. You stretched forth your hand to save your apostle Peter as he was sinking in water. Grant now your merciful aid to all those in need of healing.  We trustingly call on You, to restore health in your loving kindness. O long-suffering Lord, show us your compassion and mercy that I may glorify your divine power and bless your holy Name, Father, Son and Holy Spirit, now and ever and forever. Amen.

 

Isaiah 58:8  Then shall your light break forth like the dawn, and your healing shall spring up speedily; your righteousness shall go before you, the glory of the LORD shall be your rear guard.

Luke 9:11 When the crowds learned it, they followed him; and he welcomed them and spoke to them of the kingdom of God, and cured those who had need of healing.

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This is from the book Song of the Sparrow by Fr. Murray Bodo O.F.M.

To slow down and let the healing happen.  How hard that is when the very sickness is a fear of slowing down, of not being able to function as well as we could, of paralysis of will.  Healing is most impossible when we cannot forget the sickness long enough for healing to start.

How does one forget their sickness when they are enduring extreme pain?  How does one forget their illness when the shaking in their hands and arms has gotten worse?  I certainly am unable to forget this but I am able to cope the best I can by knowing that God is with me, and by uniting my pain with Jesus on the Cross.  I can give my pain over to God and ask for His help as I go through all the various symptoms while doctors figure out what’s causing them.  I could be frustrated or angry since my health has taken a turn for the worse since my hysterectomy but I’m not.  I trust in God. I trust that Christ has a plan for me. I am going through these health issues for a reason but am waiting to find out for what purpose and where God is leading me.

I’m sure it is hard for people who have been active most of their lives to slow down as they get older.  How hard it must be to accept the symptoms associated with the developmental process of aging.  May God comfort those persons who are dealing with illness and symptoms due to aging.

Is it possible to forget your illness? Maybe during certain moments I can but after that I feel the symptoms related to my illness.  Do you really have to be able to forget your illness to be able to heal? Or is it impossible to heal when you remember your illness and feel symptoms caused by the sickness? I believe that persons can pray to God for healing and try to forget their illness as much as possible, go about living life the best they can but I doubt that persons can completely forget the symptoms they are going through which are caused by their illness.  I believe that God is the Ultimate Healer and with Him all things are possible.  God is able to heal us even of we do remember our sickness.

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coping with unknown radical acceptance DBT

 

To think life could throw me a curve ball after all I have been through this past  nine months with having my hysterectomy. I could say I can’t take it anymore or this is the last straw and give up, but I’m not. I know God has sent me some wonderful doctors who are taking very good care of me. I know God’s plan for me is better than my own. Even though I am a bit scared and worried I am also trusting in Him. I was recently told that I my red blood cells are too big and not dividing, multiplying as they should. Apparently my blood red cells have been like this for over a year but my doctors thought it was because I had a B12 deficiency. But now my B12 level and everything else with my blood work is good so my doctors aren’t sure what is causing my red blood cells to be too big. So now there sending me to see a hematologist (a blood doctor).  This could explain some of symptoms. I know is with me as I go through this medical issue. I know that our Lord will make this curve ball straight. As I watched the 7th & 8th graders perform The Stations of the Cross this evening I know that this is just one more little cross, along with all the other stuff, that I’m going through will offer this up in union with Jesus on the Cross. It is especially important to do that at this time since we are coming upon Holy Week when Jesus made a Holy Sacrifice by His death on the cross. God loves us so much that He sent His Only Begotten Son to die for us to redeem our sins.  The phrase “make straight the way of the Lord” came into my mind so I did some scripture searching and found these: 

Mal. 3:1, “Behold, I am going to send My messenger, and he will clear the way before Me. And the Lord [adonai], whom you seek, will suddenly come to His temple; and the messenger of the covenant, in whom you delight, behold, He is coming,” says the Lord [YHWH] of hosts.”

“The beginning of the gospel of Jesus Christ, the Son of God. 2As it is written in Isaiah the prophet, “Behold, I send My messenger before Your face, who will prepare Your way; 3The voice of one crying in the wilderness, ‘Make ready the way of the Lord, make His paths straight,'” (Mark 1:1-3).

“He [John the Baptist] said, ‘I am a voice of one crying in the wilderness, ‘Make straight the way of the Lord,’ as Isaiah the prophet said,'” (John 1:23).

Which is really weird since the above scripture passages are about the coming of  Jesus and next week we will be commemorating the  Passion of Jesus. 

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Ever since I’ve had my hysterectomy due to my having severe endometriosis I have been struggling emotionally especially because of the fact Kevin and I have no children.  During the week I decided it was time for me to meet with a priest so Thursday I did just that.  Talking to him helped so much.  He had just visited Medjugorje and he gave me a medal from there.  That’s totally awesome!!! He also told me a bit about a woman called Anne A Lay Apostle who claims that she heard locutions or messages from Mary and Jesus. Her messages are still under investigation by the Congregation for Doctrine of the Faith and now we are waiting to hear their judgment as to their authenticity.  In the meantime Anne’s bishop has authorized her to publish her locutions.  Dr. Miravalle from Franciscan University of Steubenville has also written a letter in support of Anne’s locutions.  Father said that our bishop had reviewed Anne’s messages and didn’t find anything to be contrary to the Faith so he’s okay with the laity reading her messages.  The priest I met with gave me one of Anne’s books with some of her messages.  This is the one he read to me:

This is from her booklet Heaven Speaks to Young Adults

My Loving Smile is in Your Soul — Jesus

My dear young apostle, as a follower of Jesus Christ the Returning King, you are entitled to joy.  I am returning to your world, and in this initial phase of My return I am returning through you. You should be joyful. If you are not joyful, you are spending too much time on worldly thinking.  Think in terms of heaven and you will feel joy.  Should a soul who is surrounded by angels be dismayed? Should a soul who walks in the constant presence of Jesus Christ be sad and fearful? My loving smile is in your soul.  I hold only good wishes for you.  There are many here in heaven who struggled with your very same struggles.  They overcame the world and so will you.  If you think it is too difficult then you are trying to do too much at once.  Sit peacefully now, in this moment, and allow Me to calm you.  I send My strength into your soul.  I send you great trust in Me and in My presence.  I am with you right now, watching you carefully, giving you exactly what you need to convert your heart to Mine.  Stay in this moment and you will be fine.  When you are anxious, you must see you are either in yesterday or in tomorrow.  I have given you what you need for now.  Tomorrow, you shall have what you need for tomorrow.  Each moment is being seen to by heaven.  I am not in yesterday, dear soul, because I am with you and you are in today.  I am not in tomorrow, dear soul, because I am with you and you are not there yet.  When you get there, I assure you, I will be with you, regardless of how difficult that day may be.  I do not leave My friends when troubles come.  Rather I give more graces.  Many of the young people in the world are feeling constant anxiety.  This does not come from Me.  This does not come from following Me.  Often it is a lack of love and security.  But, My dear apostles, I am the only true security.  Rely on Me and you find that your anxiety begins to diminish.  Soon it will disappear because I will take it away.  Ask Me for this.  And then trust Me.  Many great saints spent their lives working on trust.  You will get better and better at trusting Me through practice. And your fears will get smaller and smaller.  I can promise you this because it has always been this way.  Those who live in unity with Me are at peace.  The world cannot touch them because their sights are set on the next world, their true home, which is heaven.

Whether or not Anne’s locutions are found to be authentic or approved by the Vatican I found this message very comforting.  I believe there have been a number of saints who heard locutions or saw visions of the Blessed Virgin Mary or Jesus that were first met with skepticism and disapproved at first by the Pope at that time.  But these saints continued to believe and eventually their messages were approved by the various Popes.  I’m not sure which of the saints I read that this had happened to but it was at least a few.  So even if Anne’s messages aren’t approved by the Vatican it doesn’t necessarily mean that they didn’t come from Mary and Jesus.  We pray each day and receive messages of our own from God so I see her messages as being no different with respect to authenticity of faith.  God Bless.  

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Psalm 56(RSV)
1 To the choirmaster: according to The Dove on Far-off Terebinths. A Miktam of David, when the Philistines seized him in Gath. Be gracious to me, O God, for men trample upon me; all day long foemen oppress me; 2 my enemies trample upon me all day long, for many fight against me proudly. 3 When I am afraid, I put my trust in thee. 4 In God, whose word I praise, in God I trust without a fear. What can flesh do to me? 5 All day long they seek to injure my cause; all their thoughts are against me for evil. 6 They band themselves together, they lurk, they watch my steps. As they have waited for my life, 7 so recompense them for their crime; in wrath cast down the peoples, O God! 8 Thou hast kept count of my tossings; put thou my tears in thy bottle! Are they not in thy book? 9 Then my enemies will be turned back in the day when I call. This I know, that God is for me. 10 In God, whose word I praise, in the LORD, whose word I praise, 11 in God I trust without a fear. What can man do to me? 12 My vows to thee I must perform, O God; I will render thank offerings to thee. 13 For thou hast delivered my soul from death, yea, my feet from falling, that I may walk before God in the light of life.

Since March my pain has gotten worse and worse until the pain became excruciating – to the point where it was off the pain charts, a 12 out of 1-10 pain scale. After having had my my sixth endometriosis surgery last year and not having even gone a year without pain my doctor and I decided that a hysterectomy was my only option.  I could be going to a pain management specialist but I don’t want to be doped up on pain pills so that’s why I say that the hysterectomy is the best or only real option out of two not so good options. Last week Kevin and I had a visit with my doctor where my doc explained all that is involved with the surgery to us and he went onto explain to Kevin why hysterectomy was my one of two options but in his opinion the best option for to be able to achieve the best quality of life and be the most pain free.  Kevin and I talked and on Monday I firmed up my date for the surgery which is September 10.  

I have really trusted in God on this one especially since we don’t have any children.  I believe or have this feeling and can almost hear God calling us to adopt a little one.  Tuesday my pain was lessened, about twenty percent less than it had been for a few months.  Then today I had less pain, probably about a 7 or 8 on the pain scale.  I believe that God is having mercy on me.  While talking to my doc today he said that pain is also psychological.  He said, yes, the fact that Kevin and I had made the decision to have the hysterectomy can indeed cause a lessening of my pain.  But he also agreed with me about God having mercy on me before the surgery.  At first I became a confused emotional wreck questioning whether I am making the right decision about the surgery. After talking with both Kevin and my doctor I know I have made the right decision to go ahead with the hysterectomy. After all I have been dealing with endo for over 16 years, have had 6 surgeries and been put on depot lupron a few times.  The key here is to trust in God.  I am trying with all my heart to trust in his will for me.   Be not afraid. God Bless. 

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God knows us 

He knows our joy and pain 

Whether of the heart or the flesh

He Knows our triumphs and defeats

God Knows our needs

Our Father knows best

He calls us to prayer 

He calls us to listen to Him

In faith we go to God on bended knee 

Believing that He will answer our pleas

We are called to trust God’s will for us

Our Father knows best

 

 

This poem came to me as I was thinking about my recent health issues, my endometriosis pain.  I have made a huge medical decision and am taking a big leap of faith to trust in God’s will for me.  My husband Kevin and I have no kids but after dealing with endo pain for about 16 years, particularly having pain now not even one year after my last surgery to remove the endo, I have decided that I need to have a hysterectomy.  I cannot go on being in very, very bad to excruciating pain.  I just don’t think that’s the life God wants me to live.  Maybe Kevin and I are called to adopt a special Little One? I do believe that God has a plan for us as a couple. But, yes, it does break my heart that it has come to this.  I will be having surgery in mid-September.  God Bless.

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Pro-Life activists were peacefully praying the rosary for the repeal of Obamacare when a Pro-Obamacare activist knocked over the U.S. flag and then attacked the volunteers from Tradition Family and Property (TFP).

The group had been passing out flyers describing ObamaCare as a form of Christian persecution, forcing Catholics and other Christians to subsidize abortifacient contraception. They also held pro-life signs.  

It looks like TFP has had previous encounters of a similar nature from “tolerant” Obamacare supporters.   Why is it that so many on the Left act out like juvenile delinquents when they come in contact with person/s who have different beliefs or opinions than their own?  You don’t see people on the Right acting like that.

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